Week Five; excerpt of chapter one
I met someone today
their hair a mess
atop their head
{ but really whose isn’t? }
Their name rolled gracefully
from their
mouth
that takes something;
making your own name beautiful.
Maybe one day ‘they’ will turn
to ‘you’.
Mark moved back to Auckland in the November before his last year of
college. Alex was sitting shirtless under the sun next to the pool in Carlos’s
garden, licking his melted ice block from his fingers when Mark rounded the
corner, feet crunching on the dry grass. He was smiling wide, clearly excited
to see his old friends’ reactions to his arrival.
Carlos immediately leapt up and ran to hug Mark, Jaemin and Aiden
following soon after. Alex took a few extra moments to prepare himself before
rising from the outdoor recliner. He walked over, waiting till the others had
stopped smothering him before he held his ice block out to one side and went in
for a hug. Mark stuck a hand out between them awkwardly, making Alex frown as
he took it and shook.
“I’m Mark,” Mark said, and beside them Aiden snorted. “Nice to meet
you.”
Alex brought his ice block back to his mouth with a smirk, still
shaking Mark’s hand as he licked more of it from his fingers. “I’m Alex.”
Mark’s eyes went wide and his face turned red, contrasting against
the bleach-blond curls of his hair. “Oh my god, I’m a fucking idiot.”
The other four started howling with laughter as Mark continued to
look embarrassed. Alex finally released his hand and pulled him into a hug,
Mark awkwardly reaching around to pat his back. The palm of Mark’s hand stuck
to the sweat on Alex’s skin in a slightly unpleasant way, but Alex couldn’t
find it in him to care.
When they parted, Carlos stepped up and nudged Mark’s shoulder. “How
did you forget who Alex is?”
Mark shrugged, dragging a hand across the back of his neck. “You’ve
grown up a lot,” he said directly to Alex.
Alex blamed the heat in his face on the sun.
Somewhere around one in the morning, Jaemin decided it was a perfect
time to get in the pool. Carlos’s parents were (thankfully) out of town, so the
five of them slipped into the pool, squeaking a little at how cold it was so
early in the morning. Mark, who had been struggling to stay awake with the
others due to jetlag, was suddenly wide awake as Alex and Aiden started
splashing him mercilessly. He tried to keep his voice quiet as he shrieked, but
the neighbour’s dog still started barking at the noise.
When they calmed down, Alex caught sight of Carlos and Jaemin
kissing on the steps and rolled his eyes.
It had been a few months since Carlos had turned Alex down the night
they got high off Aiden’s brother’s weed in Alex’s paddock on the opposite end
of the farm from the house. He had dug his fingernails into his palms so hard
the imprints were left in the morning, steeling himself to tell Carlos that he
had feelings for him. Carlos had been more than lovely about it, placing a hand
on Alex’s knee and furrowing his brows. It did little to stop the spinning of Alex’s
head as he struggled to keep his tears down.
He’d tried not to be too upset when not a week later Carlos and
Jaemin started dating. He’d tried to be happy for his best friends, but it was
difficult when he was still trying to move on. Not like he’d been in love with Carlos;
it was only a crush that he had thought was reciprocated. But it still made his
cheeks burn with humiliation whenever Carlos shied away from Jaemin at school
and gave Alex a pitying look.
That had only been marginally worse than having to see them make out
every chance they got, hands roaming when they thought their friends were
distracted.
Alex slowly lifted a hand out of the water to point over to them,
Mark blushing and Aiden giving the same eye roll as he waded over and started
splashing them. Carlos squealed as Jaemin just tightened a hand around Carlos’s
waist, using him as a shield from the water, his smile spread wide across his
cheeks.
After giving the couple a fair amount of shit for their physical
affection, Aiden and Alex started clinging to each other jokingly, making
obscene kissing noises and making Mark giggle behind his hand. Carlos blushed
furiously as Jaemin just gave his nonchalant smile, seemingly unfazed.
Mark pouted, sloshing some water towards Aiden and Alex. Alex felt
his laugh bubble in his chest.
“Aw, Minhyungie, do you feel left out?”
Mark held up his hands. “No, don’t let me come between you two.”
His protest was in vain, as Alex detached his arms from Aiden’s
waist and swam over to Mark, placing his hands on Mark’s shoulders and resting
his head on his chest.
“Don’t worry,” he said, breath skating across Mark’s damp skin,
“there’s enough of me for everyone.”
Mark hesitated before settling his hands on Alex’s hips, and he
wasn’t so sure why it made his breath hitch in his throat.
The way you've written the characters into the storyline is really good and the characterisation of each is done really well - in such a short piece I can already get a sense of what the characters are like. Overall this first chapter is really interesting, and I especially loved the way you ended it with the last sentence.
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