Week Seven: reflection


The chapter where the group of friends go to Alex’s family bach is one of my least favourites of all the chapters I’ve written so far. In some ways, I am very happy with how it turned out as I enjoyed writing it, especially the scenes in the car. However, it doesn’t serve much of a purpose to develop either the story line or Alex and Mark’s relationship. It is definitely a filler chapter, although in some ways it does provide an establishment for later events in chapter eleven. One part of the chapter I am proud of is the line; “He placed a hand under his head and let out a sigh, trying not to think about death too much so that he wouldn’t ruin the mood, but it was difficult when the call of the abyss tugged at the strings of his hoodie every time it got.” This line is one of my favourites in the overall story, as I like the imagery it gives and the feeling it evokes.

Chapter five is the first of three chapters that chronicle New Year’s Eve into the early hours of New Year’s Day. These three chapters are probably my favourites of all of them so far, as it reminds me greatly of my experiences growing up on a farm and celebrating new year’s in the paddock with my family. I drew a lot of inspiration from those nights, although there was a lot of embellishment as I wasn’t quite as rebellious as my characters. The exchange between Mark, Alex and Aiden in regards to kissing each other is very important, as it establishes the inkling of Alex developing feelings for Mark. The only things I would critique in this particular chapter is that some of the interactions with Alex’s brother and his friends seem a bit forced, as one of my problems with my writing is not being able to flesh out side characters – even if they only appear in two chapters.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Week Seven: excerpt of chapter four

At 12:18 tomorrow morning    I stole away into the night                   { the water is so warm … }                                     But I held my tongue. The sun was hot on their backs but the salt water kept them cool for the most part. Alex had found some old boogie boards left over from when he was younger and they all took turns, laughing at the Power Puff Girls design. The material was scratchy and chafed their skin, but it was all worth it to see Aiden get dumped by a particularly large wave. Mark made them walk to the diary at the other end of the beach, again not wanting to damage the upholstery of the ancient Volvo, despite the juice stains already tainting it from their childhood. They all bought double cone ice creams, trying to get through them be...
Read more

Week Twelve: reflection

These final two chapters, I am both proud of and disappointed by. I am happy with the way I tied everything back together, and that I showed how they had to work through things before they could start a healthy relationship. I didn't want them to spend all that time apart and then act like it never happened, as time apart in that situation does a lot of damage. I wanted them to have to work through those problems and then  work on their relationship. I feel like I touched on this, however I don't think I went into it enough. Another thing I was disappointed in was the way I wrote the fight scene. I wanted them to cut deep into each other and pick each other apart, however I feel that I maybe didn't develop them enough to be able to do this enough. All I could draw on was Alex's inability to get out of his own head and Mark's inability to communicate. In my second draft I will be looking for things to draw from in regards to this scene, as it is an important one ...
Read more

Week Five; excerpt of chapter one

I met someone today their hair a mess atop their head { but really whose isn’t? } Their name rolled gracefully from their mouth that takes something; making your own name beautiful. Maybe one day ‘they’ will turn to ‘you’. Mark moved back to Auckland in the November before his last year of college. Alex was sitting shirtless under the sun next to the pool in Carlos’s garden, licking his melted ice block from his fingers when Mark rounded the corner, feet crunching on the dry grass. He was smiling wide, clearly excited to see his old friends’ reactions to his arrival. Carlos immediately leapt up and ran to hug Mark, Jaemin and Aiden following soon after. Alex took a few extra moments to prepare himself before rising from the outdoor recliner. He walked over, waiting till the others had stopped smothering him before he held his ice block out to one side and went in for a hug. Mark stuck a hand out between them awkwardly, making Alex frown as he took it ...
Read more