Week Six: excerpt of chapter three

I took my coat from the peg

the night sky is wonderful.

                  I think I’ll go for more walks

at 12:18 tomorrow morning

                  with my breath

                                                      fresh

                                    in the air.

{ maybe one day you could join me. }

                  Really, the stars

look like they’re only there

                                                       for you.

Something about Alex’s friend group made them want to always go for a walk at the same time every night they all spent together. Their toes started to itch as they fought off sleep and they would walk through the streets up to the hill that overlooked all of Auckland, right out to the Sky Tower in the city centre. It was quiet and chilly, something that they welcomed this deep into summer.

Carlos and Jaemin were up in front, swinging their hands between them as they giggled, trying to keep their steps synced up. Alex had fallen behind, flanked by Mark and Aiden with his hands deep in his pockets as the three of them watched their friends be disgustingly affectionate. Aiden, dressed only in a shirt and shorts with flip flops, attached himself to Alex’s right arm, huddling into his body.

Alex tsked and rolled his eyes, but he shook Aiden off only to wrap an arm around his shoulders. Aiden hummed as he leant into him, slinging an arm over Alex’s waist. Not wanting him to feel left out, Alex reached out his other hand to circle lightly around Mark’s wrist. He flinched slightly at the contact, but Alex held on and they continued walking up the hill. Aiden leaning his weight on Alex’s side eventually pushed him into Mark’s side, his skin burning where it was in contact with Mark.

When they reached the cul-de-sac of the street that went highest up the hill, they all sat on the curb and looked out at the city. The lights stretched out below them, right out to the North Shore and the harbour bridge. Alex had let go of Mark’s wrist in the process of sitting down, but Aiden was still leaning into him, trying to steal some of his body heat. Jaemin was lying on his back in the road, looking up at the stars as Carlos sat on the other side of Aiden, offering him another warm body to feed off.

Aiden hummed pleasantly, rubbing his cheek on Alex’s shoulder. “I love you guys.”

Jaemin breathed out heavily. “Yeah, this is nice.” He turned his head, looking over at Alex. “Feel like we need a soundtrack.”

Alex laughed as he pulled out his phone to put his playlist on shuffle. As he did so, Mark pulled out his cigarettes to the tune of Once We Were School Kids by Ha the Unclear. Mark did the rounds offering it up to each of them, all declining but Jaemin who hoisted himself up off the tarmac and sat on the other side of Mark. Mark lit both their cigarettes for them and took a drag of his own before passing it to Alex.

Carlos scoffed, leaning his head on Aiden’s shoulder. “I’m not gonna kiss you after this, Jaemin.”

The rest of them laughed. “That’s okay, I wasn’t planning on kissing you anyway.”

Alex coughed a little through his laugh, passing the durry back to Mark who thanked him for it. They’d taken to sharing cigarettes. Alex would never ask for one of his own, but Mark always lit exactly two cigarettes, both of them smoking two halves each. Alex didn’t know what that translated to, but it was a nice habit that let him know that things hadn’t really changed between the two of them. He was still used to sharing things with Mark.

By the time Mark pulled out a second cigarette, the playlist had moved onto So Long, See You Tomorrow by Bombay Bicycle Club. Jaemin held his hand out across Mark, and Alex handed him his phone to go through the queue. Alex started singing along softly under his breath, Aiden’s weight again pushing him closer to Mark until he rested his head on his shoulder. Mark laughed softly, passing the cigarette back to Alex as he motioned for Jaemin to come closer so he could continue the chain.

“I didn’t know you could sing,” Mark said suddenly, making the rest of them laugh.

“He doesn’t do anything else, it’s fucking annoying,” Carlos offered, reaching over to pinch the flesh above Alex’s knee.

Alex squealed, leaning further into Mark who transferred his cigarette to his other hand to put a protective arm around Alex’s waist. Alex melted into his side more, half for the joke and half because it felt nice.

“They’re so mean to me.”

Mark laughed, pressing a kiss into Alex’s hair. “Don’t worry, princess, I think your singing is lovely.”

They listened to exactly three more songs before Aiden started really complaining about the cold and the others agreed that their butts were going numb. Aiden decided he wanted to be swaddled between Carlos and Jaemin which left Alex to walk behind them with Mark. After the third time the backs of their fingers brushed together, Mark slotted their hands together, just shy of linking their fingers. Alex told himself not to read into it; he held hands with the others all the time. There had even been that one time that Carlos kept holding his hand while he was almost in Jaemin’s lap making out with him.

Mark rubbed his thumb over the back of Alex’s hand and Alex squeezed his hand in return. When he glanced at the side of Mark’s face, he was smiling serenely.