Week Twelve: chapter fifteen

It’s 12:18 tomorrow morning

                  { afternoon? }

                                    My face in your pillow

                  your legs in my bed.

                                                     

This might be home.

It took a while for things to get back to normal – whatever normal was for Alex and Mark. There were still holes left from the year they had spent apart, growth that they had to get used to. But the feelings that Alex held for Mark hadn’t changed, and he thought that was most important. Mark met Heejin, who was dubious about how trustworthy he was, but approved by the end of the night.

In the end, they fit back together pretty well. They decided not to make anything official for a while, just while they learned about each other for the third time in their lives. There were things that Mark had been through in the past year that he told Alex, specifically about the development of Mark’s relationship with Lucas and how they eventually figured it was for the best that they part ways.

“It’s funny,” Mark said, lying shirtless in Alex’s bed. It was early in the morning and he had spent the night before. Their legs were tangled together, Alex on his side as Mark wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Alex had a hand on Mark’s sternum, feeling his heart beat beneath it as Mark had his hand behind his head.

“What is?” Alex asked, pressing a kiss to Mark’s shoulder.

“We broke up because I realised I wasn’t over you.” He laughed, looking a little embarrassed as Alex felt a smile creep up on him. “I had a fat sob over Lies by Marina and the Diamonds. That’s how he found out.”

“Does that make me a homewrecker?”

Mark laughed, tightening his grip on Alex’s shoulders and kissing his forehead. “Marina would be proud of you.”

Lucas was hostile towards Alex for a while, which Alex respected. He’d ruined his relationship without even trying, and as well as that he’d hurt Lucas’ best friend. It wasn’t anything too bad – Lucas simply bristled whenever Alex came around to their flat. His boyfriend, Chan, would wrap his arms around Lucas’ middle and kiss his shoulder blade, coaxing him. He did eventually warm to Alex, and once he did he made Alex laugh so hard his sides hurt.

As for Mark, Alex basked in his presence every morning that they woke up together. They didn’t spend every night together; they had course work that they had to complete and it was impossible sharing a single bed so often. But during the day, Alex would spread out his papers on Mark’s bedroom floor and make himself comfortable. Mark would sit up at his desk, tapping away at his computer while they spent the time mostly in silence. It was so easy, to just be with Mark like that, knowing that his feelings were reciprocated.

They didn’t love each other again at first. It took a while for them to completely let go of all the hurt they had been through. They agreed that neither of them meant what they said during their shouting match; it was all said in the heat of the moment, trying to get back at each other for hurting so bad. Mark knew that Alex wasn’t conceited and Alex knew that Mark wasn’t bad at communicating. They talked it out at length and between kisses, trying to resolve all the problems they’d caused for each other.

Aiden came back up to Auckland for his mid semester break, crying at the airport as Mark and Alex picked him up together, hugging them both and scolding them for being so stupid. He sat in the middle of the back seat and leant forward on the centre console of Mark’s Volvo, watching as Alex rested his hand on Mark’s thigh.

“So are you two officially dating yet, or just seeing how things are?”

Alex looked over at Mark, who took one hand off the steering wheel to hold Alex’s hand in his lap. “Seeing how things go.”

Mark hummed agreement. “It’s only a matter of time though, isn’t it?”

Aiden frowned. “Matter of time until what?”

Mark squeezed Alex’s fingers. “Till it’s official.”

The words made Alex’s heart swell and he leant over to press a kiss to Mark’s cheek. Mark shrugged him off, complaining that he was driving, but Alex could hear the smile in his voice.

They met up with Carlos and Jaemin, and Alex was so happy that he felt light headed. It almost felt like the previous year had never happened as he was reunited with all his friends, going out for drinks at a place where Mark knew the bartender and got them discounts. There were times when Alex lost sight of Aiden, Carlos and Jaemin as they disappeared to get more drinks, but Mark stayed attached to his back, arms around Alex’s middle as they swayed.

It wasn’t until the long break between semesters, when the two of them decided to stay at the halls so they could spend more time together. They alternated between Alex’s flat, which he had to himself as his flatmates had all gone home for the break, and Mark’s, which was only he and Lucas. Sometimes they went out for dinner with Lucas and Chan, other times they got takeaways and ate them in bed while watching movies together. It was one of those nights, takeaway wrappers discarded on Alex’s desk and their clothes littered on the floor. Alex was lying on top of Mark, ear pressed to Mark’s bare chest. Just as he was about to ask Mark why his heart was beating so hard, Mark whispered into the darkness around them.

“Alex?”

“Mm?” Alex lifted his head so that his chin was resting on Mark’s chest.

Mark smiled down at him, threading his fingers through Alex’s hair. “What are we?”

Alex grinned, feeling giddy as a laugh bubbled out of his chest. “I think we’re in love, Minhyung.”

Mark pulled Alex up his body so their lips could meet. “Ding ding ding.”

Alex shook his head, trying to kiss Mark through his smile. “I hate you so much.”

“Hmm, you love it though,” Mark said, then slipped his tongue into Alex’s mouth.

Mark fell asleep before Alex, as he often did. Alex watched Mark’s face as his breathing deepened into a soft snore. It was amazing, to look at the boy next to him and know that he was Alex’s. That against all odds, they still came back together, like twin stars orbiting each other. That despite all the hurt and all the distance, Mark still loved Alex, and Alex still loved Mark. He craned his neck, pressing a light kiss to Mark’s lips before turning over in his arms, rubbing his cheek against Mark’s bicep before succumbing to sleep.